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Anger Management And How To Deal With It

Yulia Inyakina shares her way of staying calm.

Anger Management And How To Deal With It

Feeling angry is completely normal and natural. However, there are situations when such emotional states are difficult to control - a person begins to become inflamed and as a result speaks or does something that he later regrets.

Correctly expressing your anger is necessary for two reasons. Firstly, constant scandals spoil relations with people: in order not to be left without friends and work, it is worth learning to splash out emotions so as not to offend anyone.

It is important to evaluate your time. Do not rush to express your anger if you do not have time for this. Firstly, there is a chance that in a hurry you misjudged the situation and got angry unjustly, and secondly, to save time, you will probably use the strongest words and phrases that you know, and this will not benefit relations with people.

Before you pour out anger, count to ten. This advice, it would seem, is banal, but sensible: taking a break before shouting, you can listen to yourself and discover what exactly caused the desire to make a scandal.

Still, you need to express your anger, but so that relations with others do not suffer from this, treat people with respect, even if they are not right. Follow a few principles.

Let it be more important to maintain a good relationship than to prove your case.

Discuss only the current issue, do not recall the past.

Evaluate whether the subject of the dispute is worth spending so much strength and energy on it.

Be prepared to forgive, otherwise the conflict will not be resolved.

Finish the argument on time: if you feel that you don’t agree on anything, accept that you don’t agree with each other. Do not allow psychological isolation - a confidential conversation with a loved one will help you abstract and look at the situation from the side.

The more things you do and the higher the level of stress, the more often you need to go in for sports (you should not forget about relaxation after training). Running, walking, swimming, yoga and meditation - these are the types of physical activity that will help you become less irritable and quick-tempered.

Do not forget about yourself: make sure that regular rest and a good sleep is an important part of your day.

Deal with your own fears. Often people who are characterized by fits of anger also suffer from obsessive fears and panic attacks. They perceive everything that happens through the prism of fear - it seems to them that they are in danger and someone intentionally wants to harm them. That is why anger and anger appear - this is a defensive reaction, an answer to a potential threat.

You need to learn to reflect on the situation, look at it as objectively as possible. Try not to use these two words: never and always. When anger takes hold of you and you start to think: “When this happens, I am always angry” or “I never succeed”, you make a mistake. Try to be objective by all means and look at things optimistically. Life is a mirror reflecting our thoughts. If you look at life with a smile, it will answer you the same.

Try to move away from the situation. For example, if you are at university, go to the toilet, if at home, take a relaxing shower to calm your thoughts. Take the time out. It really helps in tense moments. If you can get out of the city - allow yourself this, run away from routine affairs and try not to think about what makes you angry. Find a way to calm down. A great option is a trip to the countryside. You will see how nature and fresh air act on your brain.

Often anger becomes loneliness. But you can handle it.

Loneliness makes us secretive, suspicious and gloomy. It is more difficult for lonely people than ordinary ones to get in touch with a new person. If you notice such changes in yourself, and you perceive each new acquaintance negatively in advance, then try to become more open. Make a habit of starting a conversation first, smiling at a barista in coffee shops and shop assistants, talking more with other students, making new friends.

No matter how difficult it is, you should learn to sincerely smile at the world, say hello to neighbors, make new friends in the student team, on trips, and travel. By the way, spontaneous trips out of town or in a neighboring region for the weekend can be an excellent solution to the fight against loneliness.

If you find your favorite business to your liking - for example, you will attend some courses, a swimming pool, a fitness center, engage in volunteer activities - then you will definitely find yourself a good company. There is nothing better than having like-minded friends as friends.

The first rule of struggle against loneliness is to occupy oneself correctly. After all, when you are busy with what you love, you simply do not have time to think about being alone and make new friends.

Text by
Yulia Inyakina