A Night of Languages and Belonging: ISN’s Tandem Meetings
When I first arrived in Moscow a year ago, as an international student from Cuba, everything felt both electrifying and overwhelming.
A Night of Languages and Belonging: ISN’s Tandem Meetings
I come from a small city right at the heart of the island, where life is slow, people are extremely warm and connections are easily made. Of course, Moscow is a completely different thing. The city’s fast pace, the changeable weather and the unique life style of people seemed to both invite me and intimidate me. My island and the Caribbean Sea suddenly felt very far away. And indeed, they were.
I had come here after winning the International Olympiad Open Doors in the Linguistics track, which granted me the opportunity to study my Master’s degree in HSE. But until very recently, it had been difficult to handle it all: learning Russian, handling the cultural differences, trying to belong. What I didn’t expect was that one of my most unforgettable experiences would happen a year later, not in a classroom or lecture hall, but in a dimly lit bar on a Wednesday night, during International Student Network’s Tandem meetings.
For those who do not know this small organization within HSE, the International Student Network is in charge of organizing events that connect international students and locals. They plan trips around historical places and cities, hold Cultural cafes to talk about traditional and specificities of nations around the world, and organize Tandem meetings.
Tandem meetings are informal language exchange meetings that welcome people of different backgrounds to come together, practice foreign languages and meet make new friends. The one I attended was not restricted to HSE students only. In fact, students from other universities across Moscow, even alumni and those already working in the city were welcomed as well. The idea behind these gatherings is simple: come, mingle, talk, share, and connect.
The event took place in a small bar near Tverskaya metro station. It had been raining that evening and I was expecting not too many people were there, but as soon as I entered the place I was surprised by a lively, yet cozy atmosphere. The bar had long and small wooden tables, dim lights, soft music and the soft murmur of conversations blending with it all. As soon as I walked in, I immediately felt energized. I gave a short gaze around the room and I could notice the mixture of cultures floating in the air like music. It felt like the whole world had gathered under one roof, united by inquisitiveness and the desire to connect.
From Awkward Hellos to Deep Shared Stories: The Night Begins
At first, I was nervous. My Russian is still gawky and I did not see any familiar faces. I took off my coat and put aside my umbrella, I hesitated near the entrance, trying to decide where to sit, when a cheerful voice called out in English, “Hey, are you here for the Tandem?” It was a nice girl, one of the organizers of the event. “Come join us!”, she said while guiding me to one of the tables. I smiled back, relieved, and joined one of the groups. Just like that, the ice was broken.
My table had a fascinating mix of people: a Singapore student who spoke a little bit of Spanish, an African exchange student, two Russian girls who still studied their Bachelors, an HSE alumni, an Ecuador student, an Indian boy majoring in Politics and a girl and a boy from another university. We each took turns sharing some information about ourselves, laughing at funny remarks, talking about future plans and cultural misunderstandings. Of course, everyone seemed to be curious about why I had come from so far away to study in Moscow, especially Russian students. The group took a big interest in my story and who I was, and from that moment, I stopped feeling like an outsider.
I believe that what made that evening really special was the relaxed and open-minded atmosphere. All participants were there not just to practice languages, but to form a strong bond, to connect beyond words. We talked about everything: our backgrounds, music, food, stereotypes, even politics. Soon enough I realized what was happening in this exchange: we were all learning together not only languages, but also cultural sensitivity, empathy and the art of listening.
One of the event’s traditions is providing “break-the-ice” topic cards for participants in case they feel hesitant about what to talk about next. Each card had a question designed to spark conversation, sometimes silly, sometimes deep. “What’s the biggest cultural shock you’ve ever experienced?” asked one. “Do you believe in karma?” asked another one. I remember one particular question: “What’s one thing you love about your culture that you wish others knew better?” That particular question led to an extended, heartfelt debate. I spoke about Latin America, about the rich diversity of cultures and traditions that you can find going from one country to another, about the warmth spirit of the people, about our music, our food, our dances, but I also spoke about the sad and complex problems that we are facing in the region. “I heard there are beautiful beaches in Cuba” said one of the Russian girls. I told them about the aquamarine color of the water and the white sand I missed so much, about how our streets are filled with colorful vintage American cars that run alongside and soviet cars like Lada, Volga and Moskovitch, how Cuba and Russia have always been close friends throughout history. It felt beautiful to share that, and even more beautiful to see people listening with genuine interest.
As the night went on, it felt that cultures blended into one, and conversations mixed with laughter, tasty drinks and music. Someone suggested a “language switch game”. I got to practice my Russian and speak some Spanish as well. I stumbled over Russian verbs and cases, while others struggled with English phrasal verbs and idioms, but we encouraged each other with smiles and friendly jokes. It was very fun and a bit chaotic. By the end, I completely wore out, but my heart was full. I felt I belonged there.
Belonging Without Borders
Looking back, what surprises me the most is how these small spontaneous events make a difference for international students that are constantly trying hard to build a sense of belonging in this foreign city. Before that evening, Moscow had felt like an enormous stage where I was just a spectator, but that night, it all became more personal, I felt I was also part of the play. Walking back to the metro almost at midnight, under the glow of streetlights and the wet asphalt, I saw the city in a different light. It felt a bit more like home. Not because I had mastered the extremely challenging Russian language or because I had adapted perfectly, but because a newly found sense of community that made me feel seen and accepted.
Living overseas often makes you question who you are and how much of yourself you carry into your new life. It might be difficult to navigate and process when your culture and the culture of the place where you moved in are complete opposites. Sometimes you lose yourself in an attempt to fit in, sometimes you feel you are too different to belong. But at the Tandem meeting, surrounded by people from all over the world and speaking in different languages, I realized that identity is not always something fixed. It can also become something fluid that adapts, accepts, and expands. That realization sparked a new kind of confidence inside of me, I felt that I could belong anywhere, as long as I knew who I was and remained open and tolerant towards others.
I think of my first Tandem meeting frequently. I think of the lively chatter hanging in the air, the dim lights, the mix of languages. It reminds me that the most extraordinary experiences abroad often occur in ordinary places and when you least expect them, because it is all about the people and the connections you make. I will always carry with me the memory of that night and I know it will continue to warm up my heart, no matter how cold the Russian winter gets.
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