The Guide to Thriving at a Busy University
When I started studying at the Higher School of Economics, I did not feel comfortable. Many students around me looked confident and very active. They joined student organizations, went to events, talked easily with new people and were visible everywhere on campus and in chats. I was quiet, shy and introverted. I did not like speaking in front of many people, and after long days with a lot of communication I felt very tired. I thought our university was more suitable for another kind of student, not for someone like me.
At the beginning I tried to stay in the background. I went to classes, did my homework and left the campus as soon as my schedule was over. I did not join any clubs and rarely attended any events. In group chats I almost never wrote anything. When I saw invitations to new projects, lectures or meetings, I usually scrolled past them. My explanation was simple: I am just not that type of person.
After some time I started to understand that I was losing a lot. HSE is not only about lectures, exams and grades. The university offers many student media projects, clubs, research initiatives and events where you can get practical experience, try different roles and meet people from other programmes and faculties. All this exists around you all the time, but you have to step a little closer to become part of it. I realised that if I always stayed on the side, I would probably get my diploma, but I would miss many opportunities that the Higher School of Economics gives.
A small student media project changed my situation. One day a girl from my group wrote to me in a private message and asked if I wanted to help with a media initiative. It was not a big official project of the university, just a small team of students with an idea. My first reaction was to say no. I was afraid I would not be useful, that I would not know what to say in meetings, that I would feel uncomfortable again. But her message was so personal and friendly. Because of this I decided to say yes and told myself I would try at least once.
At the first meeting I was nervous, but the atmosphere was calm and simple. There were only a few people. Everyone was an ordinary student with their own worries about deadlines and exams. No one expected me to speak all the time or to be the life of the party. I could listen, ask questions when I was ready and take tasks that matched my skills. I started working with texts, editing and planning. I did not have to stand on a stage or speak in front of a large audience. Step by step I saw that I could bring value, too.
This first experience helped me a lot. Through this project I met students from other groups and faculties. Later, some of them invited me to join other activities: new projects and team meetings. These invitations did not come from a big anonymous chat, but from people I already knew. It was easier to say yes. I still did not go to everything, but I stopped saying no to every offer automatically.
Another important thing for me was the way my friends and project teammates supported me. They never pushed me to be more talkative, but they always invited me and made it clear that I was welcome if I wanted to come. They listened when I said I was tired and respected it when I needed to leave earlier. When I doubted myself, they reminded me of the work I had already done and the skills they saw in me. Their attitude helped me see that I did not have to change my personality to be valuable to a team. I only needed people who accepted my quiet way of working and gave me space to grow at my own speed. And now I have a lot of friends who have become very close to me.
With time I noticed that many very active HSE students are not classic extroverts. Some of them are also calm in big groups and prefer to work in smaller teams. Many of them are not comfortable with parties or public speaking either. They just found their own ways to participate. Some are responsible for design, some for texts, some for social media, some for logistics and organization. I understood that being active at the Higher School of Economics does not always mean being loud. It can also mean doing regular work together with others and finishing what you start.
My attitude to group projects also changed. Before, group work made me very stressed. I worried about discussions, disagreements and presentations in front of the class. Now, when a new group project starts, I try to speak honestly about what I can do well and what is difficult for me. For example, I can say that I do not feel confident as a presenter, but I can take responsibility for research, structure, writing or editing. Usually other students accept this, because many of them do not enjoy these parts and prefer to speak. In this way, we can build a team where each person uses their strengths. My introversion then is not a problem but just one characteristic that we take into account.
I also changed my approach to communication in chats. At first I tried to read every message and reply very quickly, because I was afraid to miss something important. This took a lot of time and energy. Now I keep only a few chats with sound on: my group chat, important project chats and official channels from my programme and faculty. Other chats are muted. I check them one or two times a day when I have time and energy. If I answer later, I do not see it as a failure. It is more important for me to give a clear answer when I am focused than to always react in the first minute.
Even now I remain an introverted person. I still get tired after long days full of classes, meetings and communication. The difference is that I now understand my boundaries better and try to respect them. On campus I have found several quiet places where I can spend a break without noise and without constant talking. It can be a corner in the library, a less crowded corridor or a simple table away from the main flow of students. During these small breaks I do not open all chats and I do not force myself to talk, I just rest for a short time.
I have also become more selective about events. I do not register for every talk, meetup or party only because it appears in the chat. I think about whether it is really useful or interesting for me or important for my projects. If the answer is no, I allow myself to skip it without feeling guilty. When I do go to an event, I usually have a clear purpose: to support a friend, to learn something specific or to meet people connected with my work and studies.
People around me played a big role in this whole process. If my classmate had not written to me that first time, I might still believe that student life at HSE is only for confident and very social students. When you look at projects and organizations only from the outside, you see bright posts and photos and it is easy to think that everyone there is completely relaxed and confident. When you join, you see that inside there are students with different personalities, including quiet and shy ones, active and dynamic. Working together with them helped me slowly become part of the wider HSE community without changing my basic character.
Now, when I look back at my first year, I am glad that I did not stay in the same position all the time. I am still not the loudest person in the room, I still prefer small groups to large crowds. But I take part in projects, I know people from different programmes, and I feel that I am part of the university, not just a person who comes to class and leaves. This experience has taught me that we need to overcome obstacles and challenge ourselves if we want to make progress. At the same time we have to respect our priorities and personalities.
To sum up, if you recognize yourself in my story, I do not want to tell you to suddenly become very social or to go to all events. I know that this is not realistic and not necessary. My opinion is that it is enough to start with one small step. You can choose tasks that fit your skills, leave when you are tired and keep time and space for yourself. You do not need to change your personality to be part of HSE life! This is possible without loud behaviour and without acting like someone else.
Shared by
Anna Dzyubenko
