From Moscow with Love: How to Navigate Cross-Cultural Friendships on Campus
Are you like me - someone who tends to ‘overthink’ interactions with people from other cultures, especially when meeting them for the first time? Well, worry no more! Ekaterina seems to have discovered the perfect ‘cheat code’ for navigating cross-cultural friendships.
Ekaterina Voevoda, a 2nd year Masters student in the School of Foreign Languages, has had the opportunity of meeting so many international students. She was happy to share her thoughts from her perspective as a Russian, when I asked her some questions. I hope you enjoy this piece and begin to navigate cross-cultural interactions with more confidence.
There is a whole list actually: the US, Nigeria, Turkey, China, Pakistan, Kurdistan region of Iraq, Bulgaria, Indonesia, Cuba, and Ecuador. It is great that we have so many people from different cultures!
Sure! My closest international friends are from China and Turkey. It is such an interesting experience to ask about certain traditions, habits, and words in their mother tongue. I adore this cultural exchange! Oh, and it is such a unique experience when we go to the restaurants of their national cuisine here in Moscow, and they make remarks about each dish and explain some facts about it.
I think it was easy for me. I am a very extroverted person, especially when it comes to people from different cultures. So, my curiosity always wins, and I can start a conversation easily and break the ice. Though, I understand that I need to be careful in order not to offend the person by bombarding him with my questions, attention, and curiosity. So I continually try to take note of his reaction and his cultural norms in general. I would rather not seem rude and make the person uncomfortable because of my behavior.
When our first classes started, I wanted to get to know more about people as personalities, their countries, cultures, values, and traditions. Therefore, I have many friends and acquaintances from different cultures now. I believe another culture is the whole world that is curious to explore. It is such a great opportunity to be a part of this multicultural environment at HSE. It is wonderful to seize the moment, be curious and make friends from different parts of the world!
As a Russian, I'm so sorry to hear this. Here are some tips that may make the situation about friendship with Russians clearer and help you.
I would say that still it depends on the particular person, regardless of what culture he/she is from. Every so often, you simply cannot become friends because your characters do not align, and it is completely okay. Do not take it personally, it just happens and there's nothing wrong with you or another person. Just find the ones you are mutually comfortable with.
Russians may seem cold, serious, and quite reserved. I would say it is just a cultural peculiarity, we do not mean to show rudeness this way, we just wear emotions on our face, that's it. So, as you communicate with Russians, we're not angry, and we don't mean anything bad, it's simply a cultural trait that should be considered to avoid misinterpretation. We are not used to smiling typically, only when we hear a joke or greet someone. However, I would say it depends on the person for instance, my ‘extrovertedness’. Loud laughter and jokes do not resemble a typical portrait of a Russian reserved person, so, usually when international students meet me, they are surprised to learn that I am actually Russian. Thus, Russian people are different. And to reiterate, find the ones you are comfortable with.
Some Russians may have biases about your culture. Again, it has nothing to do with you. It is just a signal for you that this person is not the right one for friendship. Just avoid them. You can try to change their mind, but I think it is only a waste of time and energy. If the person wants to live in this paradigm, it is up to him and perhaps, he/she is not interested in changing.
Russians are quite shy, but you can just ask about our culture or language with sincere interest. I think it immediately disposes Russian people. We are happy to answer such questions and help. Moreover, I guess we respect it and find this curiosity cute.
A shared activity builds a basis for trust and close communication. As any other representatives of cultures, when it comes to the project, Russians are more likely to group with their compatriots. But if you want to get to know the person, just suggest to him to do a project together. You would not only get to know the person, but you will be able to see how he/she can work, if he/she is responsible and any other traits that are important for you. It is a very reliable way to understand if you two have the same values and attitude to different things.
I would love to visit all the countries where our students are from! I adore travelling! Not only that, but I want to go to all places: from the mountains of Pakistan, to hot tropical beaches of Nigeria. Especially now when I hear about so many wonderful spots I have never heard about. I believe the key is to be open to different cultures and explore them. This world is so big and its beauty and diversity is worth to be seen.
This conversation, with Ekaterina, helped me understand how relationships can be built over time. The simplest of acts like laughing over a shared joke, sharing a meal, being the first to say hello or just smiling at each other, can be the start of great friendships. Learning something about a new culture can also help you know how to communicate with people from that culture. Furthermore, Ekaterina’s words revealed that stereotypes are not always true, and each person should be considered as a unique individual. And this is one thing that excites me about my course, Foreign Languages and Intercultural Communication, especially the Intercultural Communication specialization; my perspective and knowledge about different cultures across continents have been broadened. It gave me the opportunity to have very insightful conversations with colleagues from countries I never imagined I would come in contact with. Now, I can view people from different cultures not from the perspective of the stereotypes associated with their culture but as individuals with their unique characteristics.
And if you are struggling to understand a foreign language, just like me, these tips could help. This is because, as you begin to interact cross-culturally, you have a better opportunity of learning a foreign language from your friends, or perfecting it if you already had some basic knowledge in that language. You can achieve this in a friendly and informal atmosphere without any pressure.
I hope the next time you meet someone from a different country, you can take a small step and begin a conversation.
Shared by
Lois Ojile
